O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What a dumb baby whore.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
