What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
