im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
