Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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