Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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