you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
