if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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