'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
