I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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