He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
