your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
