Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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