1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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