I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
