I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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