now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
