Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
