The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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