I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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