Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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