omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
