I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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