I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize