I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
