Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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