We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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