I'm so fucking centered right now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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