I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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