what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't deserve a penis
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
