Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So do you want to come over? ;)

(763): View more from Minnesota

Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

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(706): View more from Georgia

She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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(716): View more from New York

It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

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(626): View more from California

You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice

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(914): View more from New York

Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.

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