3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
