just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today