yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
