I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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