I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
