Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
