Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister