I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.