I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..