either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction