maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Randomize
