one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry about my life...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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