Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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