dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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