I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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