I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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