I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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