ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize