Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
