How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
