i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
