Is it because I queefed?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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