You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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