Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
