Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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