you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
