Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it's like heaven, but drunker
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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