He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
