Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
