This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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