this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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