Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
