he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
