I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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