This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
