I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
