So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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